8 years ago I lost my sister to cancer, my initial thought was to be angry, and for the first time in my life I experienced depression.
When I realized my state of mind after her passing, I found myself once again.
Our journey begun with one visit at the doctor's office, she had some regular testing to do, and a couple of hours later; we got the dreaded phone call that she needed to come to the doctor's office. I have worked in the medical field and know well that when you get that phone call, it's never good news. I accompany her because I knew it in my heart that it was going to be bad.
The doctors found she had stage 4 cancer and gave her options, but not much of a good outcome in her diagnosis. Rounds of Chemotherpay and Radiation only made her weak and weary, I saw how her life changed from being a super independent individual to needing total care at home. I quit my job for one year to dedicate my time to care for her fulltime. My sister and I had always been close, but it was not until then that I knew the quality person that she was in the fullest. I thought that I was there to care and nurture her, but I too learned from her; I was able to grow personally in levels I had never been pushed to learn before, her courage made me realize my day to day worries were nothing, my life found new perspective and my compassion grew stronger.
I saw her life become richer in the little time that she had, her love for life was outstanding, I will never take one day for granted anymore or complain about how I would rather want to be in bed than to get up. I treasure the time we spent together in that one year; I am forever grateful to her for showing me how to love without any restraint regardless of the circumstances. Because of her selfless love, I have become who I am, even in the midst of her sacrifice and pain.
When I talked to her about death, (we both knew it was close) she told me that she had made her peace with God, and that she had no fear, she was ready. She whispered me in her fragile voice, "You need to live your life because you deserve it, I will always be with you because we have shared our sorrows together" So I tell you, grieving is a very normal stage of our lives at the loss of a loved one, but remember the joys and the sorrows that you had together, live a life with your loved ones now, without regrets, grudges or leaving it for later, now it's the time to build memories, those memories that will make that person feel alive within you at each breath you take.
Sorry for the losses of your loved ones. May they RIP, may they sing with angels, and may one day we will all unite again.
Eclissi
