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༄philotes༄'s Profile

Current Mood: Melancholy
༄philotes༄ (philotes, *)
Female
Female - 48 years old, *, United States
sexort
Sexual Orientation: Not your Business
Relationship Status: Undisclosed


Updated: 2022-06-04 9:24:54 pm Viewed 7,812 times Likes 40

She isn’t like the others, that was your first mistake Shes addictive because she possesses a pure heart and a dirty mind. She fights battles that no one knows about. She’s damaged, but she’s a keeper. She just needs to be loved a little different, reassured a little more. Don’t try to fix her, understand that sometimes she gets sad. Sometimes she needs to shut out the world and when she feels better, she will let it back in.

She just doesn’t listen to words. She listens to use of words, the tone, body movements, the eyes, and subtle facial expressions. She interprets silences; she can hear everything that isn’t said in words. She never asked for much, but the small things she needed that filled the space of her heart’s desire, were hard to come by. There were people, who made her feel as though she was asking for the world, when all she ever wanted was some time, and perhaps someone who understood why that mattered so much. She just wanted to be loved. She just wanted one person to choose her: just one time. Just one person who would see something worth caring for, something worth fighting for. She is different, sometimes the voices get too loud. She will doubt you, herself, and everything around her, sometimes she won’t even know how to love herself. That’s when you have to be there and pull her back into reality, that’s when you have to love her harder, silence those loud voices and erase those doubts, that’s when you need to make her feel beautiful. What you don’t know about her is that she has survived more midnight tears than she will ever admit too. All you have to do is look into her eyes. The story is there, you just have to care enough to read it. The truth is she didn’t need to be saved; she just needed to be loved and know that someone out there craved her attention.

Don’t dare use her. She is not a revolving door. If she opens up, hit the lock, and throw away the key, and don’t ever fucking leave. She is home, she is forever, and if you can’t see that you don’t deserve her. If you can’t see that, don’t ask her to let you in. Others didn’t love her, for they didn’t want to be alone. Maybe she was good for their ego or maybe she made them feel better about their miserable lives, but they didn’t lover her, because you don’t’ destroy what you love. Sometimes it was the ones she trusted with all her heart that had the deadliest knives hidden in the pockets of their souls. They cut her without hesitation and watched her bleed just for the fuck of it.

She is trying. She is trying to get better. She is trying to be happy. She is trying to stay focused, trying not to be upset. She is trying not to overreact and not over think. All she can do is try. No one is perfect, don’t expect her to be.

She is strong, but not in the way that most people think. She loves more than she’ll ever get back and she knows it. And yet, she still loves anyway. She can fight the world on her own. But that doesn’t mean that she’s not dreaming of resting her head on someone’s shoulder. Someone who can love a strong woman but allow her to feel fragile and protected by their side. Sometimes she just needs to hear how much she means to someone. A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted. She wont fix or beg, she will just walk away, but one of her greatest fears is she will die without finding a single soul who will know what to do with the fire behind her eyes.