I never thought death was the answer ,but I am sorry for your loss I'm sure either way its painful. ( sorry if this doesn't make sense no sleep and worked half a day ).
Not tryin to sound like an ass or a bit pushy but I think you should continue to be the strong FW you have always been and let the road lead you to better things and who knows to a part of Gor you were meant to be in but never found till now.
