In a matter of months, Buzzen was dead, most of us were somewhat around, some of us were checking in from time to time, but largely, Buzzen was dead. Then, I posted a rant in the paper, a discussion was had and all of a sudden, not just my own home, but others grew, in popularity, in size, and in hours open a day, week, month. What is scary, the number of actual new homes, did not grow past what, 2 or 3? It's the same group of people who have always come here to role play, and nothing more than that. Leave real life out of it, let's fucking role play!
Why is that scary, you ask? Simple, in, at least... a role play sense, the people that are around right now, can, and do... role play with each other daily, for hours, some of us throw our sleep schedules out the window, knowing that the next day that have to be up at the ass crack of dawn, just keep going because... Why stop? I am having FUN! For a long time, we all got along with each other, piutting the past where it belonged.
But below the surface, there was turmoil brewing, and it was starting from the first day. Rumors flew, duallers dualled, Pasts became presents, and not the good ones. Things even got ugly a couple times, and quickly resolved, some with just a conversation, others with steel. And what is unfortunate, is that almost all of us have been caught up in it, including myself.
Some of us, very much so including myself, made missteps, mistakes, and even allowed our morals to slip away for a moment. Here is the good thing about that... Yes, I said the good thing. Almost all of us that have done so, have been sentenced, even if without trial, and held accountable for our actions. And are now paying a price. For me, the price is higher than I could ever have expected to have to pay. A price that makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning with the "I ain't ever had a bad day" attitude that I embrace, daily. So, I guess you could say, it cost me a bit of my sanity, and a price that I will never have to pay again. I hurt another human being, that's tough to live with.
I am a Warrior. Not just a Gorean Warrior, also, a Marine. A real life, modern day Warrior. I uphold a code of honor, courage, and comittment, on and off line, so I hold myself to a higher standard, which means, I accept the consequences of my actions, and I press on, and redeem myself through my future actions. Anyways, enough about it, here's the deal.
Let's fuckin role play!
P.S. This is my first ever blog on a personal level, I have written several professional ones, but what the hell kind of word is blog? Blog. Did a hipster make that up? Idk, whatevs, I wrote a blog about some shit that I just let my fingers type, no real thought, just, feelings, so, like, don't judge. aight?
Disclaimer: Due to a recent positive in my life, I will be a bit busy this week, and next week, I am going to be very hard to find in role play, as I am going to be -very- busy, but I am always reachable.
Just... Bart and his typist.
