Twelve years ago... how fast time passes. Another time, another chat world; another "s". Yahoo was the place we chatted; laughed, made lasting friendships. And was in Yahoo i met a man who changed me : Master Nomad. For about a year i watched Him, staying quietly in the background, but still observing. We spoke a bit here and there, hellos, goodbyes; i listened as others in the room had long discussions with Him. It was in that time i grew to respect Him, and want to know more.
It was when i inadvertently made a joke that the ice was broken and we began to talk and grow closer. Was not long before i felt i was His; so when a collar was offered there was no hesitation. It was Master Nomad who gave me the name "simply_s" even before i was His, i would hear the question from many...."sub or slave?" It seemed to be a simple enough question; yet one i was not certain on the answer to. To me the answer would be sub. But Others would tell me i was "neither" there was "no way, you are fooling yourself. You are no more sub then .... " I was "to outspoken, to independent," One even told me i was "to tall." So when the question was put to me again in the room, Master Nomad knew i struggled with the answer. He had heard me discussing with some friends in the past why i hated the question. So when asked, He came up with a response...."she is simply "s". Whatever You wish to take that to mean" "she is who she is, nothing more, nothing less." i loved the answer; and asked if He would mind my using the name in the future. So "simply_s" was born, and there has been no looking back.
My travel with Nomad was a bumpy road to say the least. He taught me so much; to trust, to believe; to open my mind to my surroundings. For years i had locked up my desires and impulse to submit. I had been burned in ways that would be with me always, and shut down any thought of ever letting myself trust that way again. But He saw through that, He held my hand and led me back down the path of believing in myself again. For that i will always be grateful. But time was not our friend. A few months into my submission, He was given a terrible blow. His health took a turn, and as much as we tried to ignore the facts; His time was cut short and He was taken from all who cared about Him.
It has been 12 years but still i remember. i am thankful for the things He taught me, the laughs, the tears, the long talks we shared. I have never been the same. When He passed, i wrote a tribute to Him; a mix of memories of our time together; of lessons learned and shared. I grew under His control. I learned who i am, became a stronger woman and more comfortable giving that power to Him without losing myself. This post is the memorial i wrote for Him. To honor the man, the Master, the Friend. He was all these things and more.
Because of Master Nomad; i was able to know when the time was right to once more let down the walls i had put up after His passing, and let Another in. Thank You Master Ulrich, for coming into my life and showing me the time was right. Thank You for allowing me to hold these memories tight; and place them here in honor of a very important Man. You and Master Nomad are as different as night and day; and yet also very much alike. Like the dawn blends morning and night; Your differences stand strong, but there is that place where they overlap and the beauty and strength of each blend together. Each man has their own special place, never over shadowed by the Other. I have been lucky indeed to have been allowed to belong to Each.
Master Nomad
This started out as a letter to Master Nomad; then becamea mix of memories. Some would say it is babbling...and they would be right. My memories and things i think of and remember when someone mentions Master Nomad. I wake in the morning; come here and turn on my computer expecting Him to be here before work, only to remember He will not be here any longer. So i sit, and sometimes i cry. More often i will smile remembering. So many good things to remember...and i know He would not want me to cry. I can hear Him in my head telling me "Stop the pity parties girl, and move on!" So i take His strength, wrap my mind around all W/we had and take it with me into the future.
The wall is back around me that He had brought down..for now it has to be for my survival but it will come down again when the time is right. This time it will be easier because He has shown me how wonderful it is to trust; to belong ... to have One who you can turn to and give your all. So please understand the ramblings of a sub who right now is lost and struggling to come to terms and find her way again.
Master Nomad, i will remember You always! I have written You so many letters, so many instant messages have been sent back and forth; but this one will be very different. This one is to say goodbye. With all my heart i wish did not have to be written. But i want all to know the man that i knew...the Master who captured my mind and my soul the way noone here ever has.
So this is a letter in part to say goodbye; and also to say thank You. To tell all about the special man i knew. I am sure many have heard of the story of the first time we truly started talking; more then a "hello;" " how are You" or "enjoy Your day." We were in room late one night which was not the norm for Him. It was very quiet night; only 2 or 3 others and for most part none were talking. Master mentioned how quiet it was; how still the rooms were. I was not one who spoke much in the rooms unless a few i knew well were there. Like many others who i spoke with later about Him, His profile intimidated me. But this night i had just returned from a party and had been drinking a bit and was feeling braver. So when He commented on the room i remembered a discussion from earlier in the week about girls dancing; and jokes that would be nice of the Doms would dance once as well. I remembered He had been there at the time; and so i told Him perhaps He should dance for us...to entertain the room. (He was the only male in the room at he time) He looked over at me with that "look" He had and i gulped...certain i had stepped over the line and was looking to be punished somehow. Without a word He rose up, walked to me and stood staring down at me. Even then i always knelt just on the inner edge of the shadows, out of the main group. Suddenly He picked me up without a word and carried me back to His seat, setting me down gently.
And then He turned on music; and He danced. Fast; seductively; i will never forget how He moved; as i sat there shocked at what i was watching. And when the music ended He walked to me once again lifting me in His arms and returning me to my cushion; and went on like nothing happen; simply smiling as He returned to His seat.
That was the Nomad i knew....one who was real...not pretentous. He was not afraid to laugh at Himself or for others to laugh with Him. He knew there were Doms who would say what He did was "undignified" "not Domly" or that made Him a "poser". He did not care. He lived life and enjoyed each day being Himself and the hell with what O/others might think.
Master Nomad was a man of honor; who believed all people have the right to choose the lifestyle that is right for them; and to be accepted by others. Never did i see Him belittle or condemn anothers choices. That was not His way. Dom, Dommes, subs, slaves...all were treated with respect; with honor by Him. Never did O/one come in the room and not be greeted by name, and welcome them to the room. I can remember many a male sub/slave being frowned upon by Others, scorned or ignored but never did i see that happen with Master Nomad. Their lifechoice was theirs; He believed each should do/live the life that was right for them. He treated all with respect and consideration.
The day He collared me i had no inkling what was to happen. He came into the room asking where yummy was . (my closest sis in the room at the time) I thought it strange He would ask; knowing if she was online she would be in the room. He told me to message her, and tell her to get here; that W/we needed to talk and i would need her. i was nervous on what it was that would be discussed, but did as i was told. After an hour wait and no word from her, He said we could not wait any longer, and started talking to me in PM. He was telling me things; giving me instructions i did not understand. First to put a small braid in my hair, telling me that if i ever needed Him and He was not there, finger the braid and feel His closeness; know He is near. Suddenly He stopped talking and i was not sure why; when suddenly i saw my name flash in the room and looked over. He had moved to the room where O/our friends were, and taken out a box; removing a collar. *smiles* i almost missed my own collaring! He was among a crowded room, saying to me "s...s...are you listening?" He finished the ceremony.. and of course just as He did yummy entered asking what was so important. Master Nomad knew how important it would be to me to have her there; to share the moment with her. Knowing how close we were He simply told me to open a private room; where He invited a few close friends who had not been there the first time, and repeated the ceremony again for them to share in our happiness.
The room Strict Doms and gentle subs was more then a room to both of U/us. It was home; it was like an online family. When He finished my collaring, yummy had told Him since we are so close, and she will be around "a lot!" can she call Him Daddy? From that day on she was "babygurl" and He was her "Daddykins" His comment was that now He had a home...had family. And those in the room knew that was what all of them were to Him. He would protect any who felt were in need. It was not a "cyber romance" though we never met...some say can't happen but we knew. W/we wanted all to know...thought we had all the time in the world to learn
about each other; to take our time nd explore who E/ach other were.
He would ask so many questions about my thoughts and ideas; made my views seem important. So many writting on what i thought and felt.
Master Nomad: "want to know you; big things, little things;
things that others would not think of asking"
Master Nomad: "W/we are more then orders given and followed."
When discussing how i have been told often i could never be a"true sub " that i "was to outspoken, to quick to chat with O/others when in rooms rather then giving my full attention to One. I needed to learn to hold back my thoughts and make Their views mine" Master Nomad did not see things that way. He made me realize submission was not something that can be forced, was not a sentence to stop thinking, stop feeling. Never in our time together was i made to feel those thoughts were His, that He desired to change me or silence me.
Master_Nomad: "...though is your mind that stimulates Me"
Master_Nomad: "...as I've seen how strong you've become"
Master_Nomad: "in a few ways"
Master_Nomad: " one..no matter what room you go to.. you know you have a Alpha Master"
Master_Nomad: "one that will lay back, but knowing I'm her when needed "
Master_Nomad: "a strong sub? aye,,a strong women omg yes! thou one that needs One to guide her, as you've walk alone for so long. "
He made me feel pride in my strength where Others made me feel the need to hide it. He told me once that was what attracted Him to me, why would He wish to change it now; or change me. Yet when came time to ask of Him; He was a very private man, and was only begenning to open up even after so many months.
Then suddenly He was gone. not a word in messenger; no emails, no visits to the room that we called home. No one heard from Him; no one saw Him. He was gone and i did not know how or why. Many whispered behind my back; O/others were more open, telling me freely that "He is gone; face it. He has moved on. " They would tell me to "accept He has probably taken a new name, a new home, most likely a new girl and would not be back" But i knew the man, and i knew that was not His way. I held tight to that knowledge and the faith that He would be back. For six weeks, there was nothing. But i refused to give up.
The day He returned... i will never forget. i turned on my computer and was a pm mile long telling where He had been and why. i laughed, i cried, and immediately i pmed yummy...and just as i did she pmed me.....both our messages beginning with the same line. "..omg..omg..He is back!!! Hes back!! (smiles wiping a tear) She told me He was in the room, looking for me and immediatly i flew thru the door and into His arms...laughing..crying, hugging, holding, pouncing...stepping back looking to see it was truly Him and hugging again. Strict Doms gentle subs..it was our home and He knew He could find me there waiting.
He had been in the hospital: cancer. For 6 weeks; He was poked and prodded and started on chemo immediatly and the outcome would not be good. There was no ignoring it, no pretending it was not real. He wanted me to know all. For the first time, i saw Him. He insisted to go on cam, to show me the changes. His beautiful hair, the long dark curls that He was so proud of...all gone. i told Him was not neccesarry; i knew he was speaking the truth of why was away. But He insisted. While others said He was lying, that was a scam to get my sympathy; He wanted me to know what i already did. It was no story, no plan to escape. Was only two months from the collaring until His illness was diagnosed. The next 4 months were long, He was not here often but when He could He came on..left pms and mesages. He always said was going to beat this..made plans to buy a motorcycle and ride with His son. To see His new grandson and teach them. He wanted the seriousness of His illness kept from many in chat. He was a proud man, and one of little drama. Yet He knew i needed to share though and was aware i would need my friends; so did allow to let a few in.
He taught me so much in so short a time. I will never forget the lessons. He gave me a self confidence i strive daily to hang onto. If He was Your freind, He was Your friend always. He told me once time here is to short to be cruel to others, do not have to love them, do not have to respect them, but do treat them kindly as you would want to be. Drama was something He avoided felt life was to short for arguments and bad feelings between people. His profile read "Don't let them get under your nails....they win"
Master Nomad, You brought me something i thought would never find again. i gave You my trust, my soul, my mind, and in return got so much more. So many lessons taught, so many more to be learned that W/we never got to...so many things left unsaid.
Walking to His chair and placing a white rose on the seat.. whispering soflty....
"for You Master, the petals soft, new, fresh, just opening as i was when we met....the stem long and strong able to hold the flower up for all to see its beauty and keep it strong in the worst of storms....as You did for me. Thank You Master for being my stem....making me feel like a rose that is waitng to bloom...thank You for being my food, my water, my strength sent through the stem to feed and nourish. because of all You have given me; this one will continue to bloom and grow towards the sun. "
Bowing once more before turning and walking away..head held high; tears streaming down her cheeks knowing He is at peace....the peace He wished all with every conversations end.
i believe that when someone leaves us there is a sign if we are willing to look letting us know they are ok. Master Nomad is gone and i look around and wonder "will He send me something to put my heart at ease?" and there it was .for first time in thousands of years! Mars will be here for all to see big, strong, powerful; taking its place in the heavens second only to the moon. And there will be Nomad taking His place in the Heavens for all to see...strong, powerful, quietly letting me know He is still here..still strong..still watching over me.
Thoughts and Memories of Nomad left by O/others
I wasn't privileged to know Nomad well, only a little; but what I did know of Him, was well worth knowing.
He was always a pleasure to be around. Whether being Master to s, or Daddykins to yummy, He always had time
to greet and make this newbie feel welcomed in the StrictDoms & gentle subs room. Through His death I have been given the opportunity to get to know what a wonderful Man He was. He will be dearly missed. Thank you s, for sharing your beautiful memories. May your treasured memories always bring warmth to your heart and a smile
to your face.
With warm regards, ~lil gin gin~
This girl did not know Him as well as O/others did, butfrom her times with Him found Him to be a true and
trusting Master. she found Him to be a very kind Man, always a greeting, always a Man a girl could turn to if she
needed help in any way. He was comfortable in His position to not only speak out when He thought necessary,
but to let go and so to speak "let His hair down" in a sometimes very bold game of truth or dare. she also
participated in His quest to know the insights of subs around Him, the questioning of if given a choice, which
would you prefer, such as ropes or chains. she was not fortunate enough to see some of the things she had heard of but did enjoy the humor and wit He seemed to possess. she had great respect for Him, never doubted His word, and found it a great honor to have known Him for the time she did. ~smiles~ He also made one of her sisters very happy. To her He will be sadly missed, He was a rare and dying breed for here online and out in the real world. Her heart goes out to s knowing what He meant to her, knowing she will miss Him terribly. ~hugs~ s, you know the girl is always here for you. she kneels and bows her farewell to a wonderful Master.
~shy~
i never knew Nomad that well...a frequent hello in a room...some small talk with O/others. But i always got the sense that He was a good man...fair and decent to E/everyone...regardless of the P/person...and T/their lifes choices. He encouraged E/everyone to be true to T/their beliefs....and the world would then be a better place. i'm sure He always knew...that He had the respect of A/all who met Him...and even more from T/those that came to know Him better. And s...your love never waivered....a nicer tribute to Him than A/any of U/us could ever think of...God bless you...and may God bless Nomad as well...keep His spirit forever safe...
~dreamz~
Master Nomads was a wonderful friend to know. He has given us a great gift..He gave us Him, His friendship. Though this friendship I met s, such a loving and caring sis, so loving, caring and genuine..thank you Master Nomads. With much love and fond memories.
~*spirited~ (dreams_spirited_treasure)
I never met Nomad nor did I meet you s, I just came across this site by chance and couldn't stop reading. If you only knew how deep your words are to the one who reads it, how powerful they are. I truly hope you've recovered and thank you for sharing.
~angelfire~
A part of note taken from one who knew Him well and attended His memorial.
He was a great Man. The funeral was sad, but had laughs as well...all know He danced to the beat of a different drummer. He is buried at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington DC. As driving there, the sky opened and it poured. into the chapel for a Jewish Shiva in part, then out to the grave and sister...the sun shone and the wind lifted my hair. He was there. His son wore a shirt he made, saying 'my friend...my hero...my father'. They all have SKI on their left shoulders. Jacks is not colored in. i greive for you...and for us...and His sons. as He said to me... 'tomorrow always comes' and 'don't cry because its over....smile because it happened' Know that He cared s, and took pride that You were His.
