Long ago i belonged to Another. We were good together, no we weregreat together! We blended well, our humor, our strengths and yes, even our weaknesses. He taught me to be what i did not think i could be ...myself. And then He was gone, and i was afraid. He taught me so much in so short a time. But there was so much more i wanted to know. He knew O/our time was limited. He wanted to talk about it, even though i resisted. He gave lessons on being me. Taught me that i was strong. Master Nomad told me, and over time convinced me was true that i did not need a Master, but does not mean i did not wish to give myself to One...but the right One.i learned what He already knew, this would be the last time we talked. He told me that i needed to not put up the walls that were there when we met. To be open to another. He knew i would pull back, shut down. I told Him did not want to talk about it. But He told me we had to. He wanted me to promise would remain open, would not be on the look for another, but when the time came and He appeared, be open and accepting to Him. I told Him would not happen, that i was not ever going to belong to another, i was His and when that ceased to be, my life in the M/s would cease to be as well. He would not take that answer. He told me i would find the need to serve again. But He asked for a promise. He asked that i listen, truly stop and listen to that voice in my head. He believed i had a "sense of people" and would know when the One was right, when i was ready.
I did not realize that He knew would most likely be our last time to talk. He did not state so but He said were things He had to say. He thanked me for being His, for being true to O/our path even when i had every reason to doubt and turn my back and walk away. The time He was gone and had no way to get in touch with me, no way to let me know what was happening and where He was. Our last conversation He promised me that would never happen again. I was told He made arrangements that when timecame that He would not be returning ....i would be contacted and let know that He was gone. He had a friend contact me, telling me He had passed, speaking to me about His memorial service and all who had attended. I learned about His son's and a tatoo they all shared, His just a bit different in appearance. I learned about His grandson and then the stories of His service, and how they spoke of Him at the memorial. He had promised and He always kept His words. And for many years, i was true to my word to Him,
i remained in chat, shared time wtih friends, but i did not seek out another Master. I did not wish to belong to Another; instead i chose to change my id from Nomads_s i had used when He was here, and used the id "Still_Nomads_s." When i came to buzzen i had no intention of staying so no need to bring the name. Friends made up another for me, one i knew would never use if staying. so when i did remain, i went back to the original "simply_s" and i made new friends, brought some of my old ; friends with me here to Buzzen, and settled in content to be an observer and simply make new friends with Dom, Dommes, and subs alike. i was happy with the day to day. For 5 years i was at peace with being on my own, with serving noone, my belief that i had found my ONE, and that was that.
Then Master Ulrich came along, and it was like hitting a brick wall. I looked up and there He was. And just as with Master Nomad, there was no chance to realize what was happening, He was there, and i could not stop watching Him, listening to His conversations with Others. I watched the girls serve Him and wished i was them. Then suddenly He was there, no matter where i went. He knew many i knew, and pulled me into conversations Master Nomads words came crashing back to haunt me. "Be open, be fair, listen to the voices in your head and let them lead you on the right path.
And after the voices have been heard, stop, and listen again. Hear the one softly in the background, the one not normally heard. That will be me. That will be Master telling You it is ok. OK to let go, OK to serve another if Your ready, OK to surrender and submit and allow Yourself to be happy and belong to Another. But do not rush, make sure; and when you are, listen.... truly listen and you will hear Me telling you s how happy i am for you, how proud i was to have been your Master; and how i hope He realizes the special girl He is taking in.
Tell Him who and what matter to you, tell Him waht you need; and girl listen to what He desires what He needs from you. Do not compare Him to me, do not compare His needs with mine, HIs wishes to my wishes. Do not give up; thinking you can't do this because you do not understand. He is not me s, i am gone.
Listen to Him, accept Him and His needs, be the strong independent woman i know you are and use that strength to grow and learn and accept Him for who He is not for who You wish he was, not for me. Move on, accept, surrender, and above all serve with all You have and make me proud to say she once was mine. Whoever You are... take care of her. Treat her well and she will never let You down. No matter then name you may be given remember
that you once belonged to a Master who truly cared; and in HIs eyes you will always be "simply_s"
stepping to the empty seat that once was His, and set a white rose for Him. Miss You Nomad Sir, please know You are never forgotten.
