I hear so often it is "Just Chat" I wrote this back in 2011....but it still stands true for me today.
“It’s just chat”. Over and over you hear it. “Does not mean anything!” ” They are not honest, don’t trust anyone here.” Would be so rich if I collected for each time I heard those phrases.
It’s ” just chat.” Very true. It is “just chat”. But isn’t chat what you do with your friends offline as well. True you are face to face, you go places do things. But the part of those encounters you enjoy the most, isn’t it usually the chat portion?
For me it is! Sure i can enjoy going to a show with a friend, and we will sit in silence and watch it. But the real treat comes after the movie, when we can sit and discuss it and share what we liked and disliked. The “chat” portion of the friendship.
I go out to dinner with my “real-time” friends, and enjoy a good meal together. But as good as the food might be, it’s the “chat” that makes the meal most enjoyable. Sharing my day with them, hearing their thoughts and ideas on upcoming events. Mundane boring things like what time the kids have football or when the next Dr apt. is. All “just chat.”
And when i make a phone call and we sit and talk for hours about nonsensical things, sharing what the kids have done, a silly thing one of the grandchildren might have said…we do not see them. So does that make it matter less …after all it’s just chat.”
There are times you sit in a chat room and know almost no one. The people speak only to those they are familiar with, and that’s not you. You move to another room, and find the same. The “clicks” that have formed, and do not wish to let in anyone new. Then there are the lucky days…the days someone comes in and there is something that makes you take notice. A bond is formed. Maybe not right away…sometimes it takes days, weeks, even months but a friendship grows. You start talking, and share some jokes, people come and go and new names appear, you seek out the ones you know. Its human nature. Just as in school lunch rooms people tend to flock to same seats, same people….when you enter you seek the familiar. They stop being just a name and become a person you recognize, like a friendly neighbor at the store. You find things to enjoy, to laugh about, to share, and all the time …its “just chat”
It is just chat that brought dreamzie (you know her as tender dreamz) into my life. She was one of those in the room that said hi to , and that was about it for while. She had her friends i had mine. We greeted, shared an occasional laugh now and then. Over time, others left, new people came..and we were the names that were familiar. And the hellos grew to longer conversations, and laughter. After time, we shared personal information, discussed family, hobbies, places we enjoyed . We connected. And after time, trusted…and phoned. And then decided was time to meet. And she drove and i drove and we met somewhere in the middle. For two days we talked, we ate, we shopped…all those things they say friends do “real-time.” but know what the best part was…..when we sat down to “just chat” no hidden agenda, no whispers around others, (well ok there were some whispers when her grand-daughter was around lol ) just two people who met through a screen from across the country. Two woman who found friendship they never would have found had it not been for “just chat” And i have no doubt on my end, i hope the friendship remains long after the screens close down and chat is brushed aside as i am sure one day it will be.
And then there is Babe. (smiles) She is one of a kind. Her age alone most likely we would not have connected. She is young, and exciting, and true to what all believe a redheaded nature should be. She has a heart of gold, and is as honest and upfront as they come. When babe came in a room there was no doubt she was there. And pretty much everyone loved her, or hated her. There was seldom an in between. We have laughed and shared jokes, and there is an excitement about her that just ..its there. Where i would sit in the shadows, listen and watch, she would come in laughing and greeting and could tell she was comfortable being there. I loved being in a room with her from day one. Would look when came in room to see if she was there even when she did not know I existed. Over time we became friends as well. We have never met, have never shared a cup of coffee, a lunch or dinner…only one time that I can remember have I even heard her voice in close to 8 years. Yet if I were to name my best friends…dreamzie and babe would be at the top of the list. That’s just the way it is. Yes i have friends i grew up with. I have one who I have been great friends with for over 50 years now. She can remember when my 45-year-old nephew was learning to walk, when we took them to the park and walks around the block. She was there for my wedding, was one i cried to over high school broken hearts and laughed with over new loves. When my dad died, after family she was first one i called..and one I went running to when her father passed away suddenly one morning. With family commitments we can go for months without talking, and yet when we do it is like yesterday. We finish each others sentences. She will always be my oldest friend, my go to girl. She is the “dinner out, movies, curl up on the phone and chat for hours girl.” And i love her dearly.
But my girls here, trust me it’s not “just chat” May have started out that way but somewhere along the line that all changed and lines blurred. Friendship and chat became one….and i don’t need a table between us, or to see their face to know they are here for me. I know that there is no such thing as “just chat” because each name on that screen is a person…with family, lives away from the keyboard. And if you are really lucky as i have been, you will get a chance to look past the name on the screen and see the person. And realize that sometimes the best thing that person can offer is “just chat”
Looking forward to years and years of getting to know more while we “just chat!”
