Hello and Welcome aboard Buzzen Airlines flight 493, bound for Trouble.
Please take your seat, fasten your seatbelt and pay attention to the following safety brief.
My name is “Cheekie” (Waves) and I am your friendly Chat Attendant. (Wink)
In the case of an emergency, a picture of my rather large bottom shall drop from the unit above your computer - “Kiss it” - and say you’re “Goodbyes”. Alternatively you may left click the little red X (located in the box above the conversation window) and breathe normally.
Your mission whilst in flight is to provide Interesting & Intelligent Conversation... In the odd event of unfavorable conditions EG: Complete Stupidity! Turbulence may be experienced... For this we accept NO responsibility.
Please Do NÕT attempt to Cyber with your Chat Attendant ~ IT WILL ~ affect her Navigation Equipment and cause your Early Ejaculation from the aircraft.
In the interests of your own safety we suggest you keep BOTH hands ONLY on your keyboard for the duration... 
Buzzen wish to advise, you store all emotional baggage, securely under your seat b4 takeoff. Please do not forget to take it as you depart.
Though we usually ask that you turn off all electronic devices whilst in flight in this case we request you leave your P.C. turned on, if you have a problem understanding why, try turning it off… 
Destination – Imagination.
Refreshments are now being served Coffee Tea or Me ~? Wiggle and Wink…