LAUGH A LOT--just for fun no disrespect to anyone
FREE WOMEN JOKES
The Free Women of your City are so fat...if they lived in the Tahari they could sell shade
The Free Women of your City are so fat...Warriors do the Warrior's pace in circles around them as part of their training
The Free Women of your City are so fat...they get runs in their robes
The Free Women of your City are so fat they went to the song dramas and sat next to everyone
The Free Women of your City are so fat that when they were born...they gave the Cylinder of the Physicians stretch marks
The Free Women of your City are so fat they began the Planting Feast wearing Ubara's platform shoes...and wound up wearing sandals
The Free Women of your City are so fat they look like they're smuggling Bosk
The Free Women of your City are so ugly they look like the goalie of a quiva-catching team
The Free Women of your City are so ugly when they encounter an Implanted agent of Priest-Kings...they fry out his control net
The Free Women of your City have arms so short they have to tilt their head to pin their veils
The Free Women of your City are so fat that when they dance they make the musicians skip
The Free Women of your City are so fat they have to iron their robes on the Viktel Aria
The Free Women of your City are so fat that when they go to a Restraunt... they don't get a menus...they get an estimates
The Free Women of your City are so fat that when their silk-slave reties their slippers...they have to take his word for it
The Free Women of your City are so ugly they have to get their hair done on the Steel Worlds
~~~~~~
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
a member of the Caste of Scribes and his Free Companion...celebrating their 30th year of Companionship...were revisiting the places they had frequented in their youth....walking through the secluded countryside...they passed a holding with a tall Tabuk fence running along the path
the lady said "Oh...great Scribe of my heart...let us do the same thing we did here so many years ago"
the man stopped walking
seizing the Woman...he threw her against the fence...stripped her in the space of an ehn...and immediately made violent love to her passionately...like a Marsh Shark going after a Vosk carp
later...back on the road...the fellow said "my sweet...you sure never moved like that thirty years ago or any time since that I can remember!"
his companion replied: "Thirty years ago that damned fence hadn't been electrified by the Caste of Builders"
~~~~~~
THE TAVERN KEEPER
a Warrior walks into a tavern one night....he approaches the bar and asks for a paga
"certainly...fellow" says the man behind the counter "that'll be one tarsk bit"
"Only one tarsk bit? for a paga?" exclaims the fellow in scarlet.
the other man just nods and smiles.
suspecting this may be his lucky day..the Warrior glances at the menu, and asks "might I request the thickest Bosk steak you serve...with appropriate side dishes?"
"certainly...Warrior" replies the man behind the bar "but such a feast will cost far more than a mere paga"
"how much...then?" inquires the Warrior.
"TWO tarsk bits" answers the barman.
"TWO TARSK BITS?" exclaims the Warrior. "I would like to make the acquaintance of the tavern owner....where is the fellow?"
the other man shrugs and answers "he is upstairs with my Free Companion"
the Warrior is puzzled "what is he doing to your Free Companion?"
the man behind the bar smiles and replies "the same thing that I am doing to his business"
~~~~~
THE QUESTION
a Lady of High Caste asks her Free Companion "do you think these robes make me look fat?"
the Builder considers the question for a moment and says: "No"
the Lady...pleased...smiles behind her veils
"No" continues the Builder "It's definitely your huge ass which makes you look fat."
~~~~~~
SOME SHORT ONES
"Why do Free Women fake orgasm?"
"Because they think real men care."
"How many Free Women does it take to change an energy bulb?"
"None. What, and break a nail?"
"How many Masters does it take to change an energy bulb?"
"NONE! With a lazy slave like you, who lets me sit in the dark all the time. Hand me my whip."
"Why did the kajira cross the Viktel Aria?"
"Because her Master told her to, of course. Good slave."
"What is the difference between most Free Women and the Vosk River?"
"The Vosk River is a busy ditch."
~~~~~
OF THE WARRIORS
a kajira walks into a paga Tavern clutching a big repcloth sack....she slams it down onto a table of Warriors and says "i want to be of the Warriors!" they laugh, of course. "why not?" she asks them....they pause a beat....they think...after a few ehn,...one of them stammers: "uh...because...in order to be a Warrior, you have to have a helmet" the kajira opens the sack and pulls out a helmet....the Warrior coughs and says nothing....another Warrior says: "in order to wear the scarlet...you must have a sword!" the kajira reaches into the bag and pulls one out "shit!" says the Warrior...and sits back down....finally...after a lengthy discussion of the Codes the Warriors tell her this: "you are a slave...without a Home Stone....therefore...you cannot be of the Warriors...for Warriors have Home Stones" she says: "but what about outlaws? they are Warriors...but they have no Home Stones" again...the Warriors are stumped....finally one of them says: "you cannot be an Outlaw" "Why not?" she demands. "because in order to an Outlaw...you must have been detained by Constables at least once." she asks: "what does that mean?" He says: "that means you have to have been picked up by the fuzz at least once." she replies: "i'm a kajira...i get picked up by the fuzz all the time...and slung around by the titties...too"
~~~
SOMETHING WEIRD
two Warriors meet in a Paga Tavern...after much is drunk...one asks the other: "wanna see something weird?" "sure" says the man he asked...the first fellow reaches into his pouch and pulls out a little man...about a foot tall, and sets him on the table "Wow!" says the other"Weird!" "just wait" says the first man...he reaches back into his pouch and pulls out a tiny table oddly shaped...and a seat....he sets it down in front of the little man on the table....the tiny man bows...and sits in the little seat then starts to do something to the tiny table and music emits from the small device "a musical table...and a small musician! Amazing!" cries the other fellow "this is what on Earth is called a "Pee-ann-oh." "Ah" nods the second man...impressed "and a tiny man. How did you acquire these wondrous things?" "Well" said the first Warrior "I entered the Sardar a few seasons back...and the Priest Kings taught me a magic phrase which they could always hear if I said the wondrous phrase...they would grant me whatever I wished" "Excellent!" said the second man, "What is this phrase?" "you simply say: Al-Sardar-dula, Hula Hula, Priest Kings, give me:_____ and then whatever you wish for" "I shall try it!" said the second man "suit yourself" said the first. So the second man stands up and says: "Al-Sardar-dula, Hula Hula, Priest Kings give me a hundred beautiful kajiras!" there is a bright flash and a puff of smoke and the second man is suddenly swathed in a pile of silk "Hey!" he cries "What happened? These are ta-teeras! I asked for kajiras!" the other man shrugs and says: "The Priest Kings hear with their noses...What...you think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"