How to make coffee....

1. Cup, Kettle, Instant coffee, sugar.
2. Realise you have no milk.
3. You really don't fancy black coffee this morning so you decide to substitute milk with a tub of creme fraiche.
4. Sniff the creme fraiche.
5. Check the expirary date.
6. Check the actual date and realise you were a week ahead of the world.
7. Wonder when the hell you bought this tub!
8. Be brave and add the creme fraiche to the coffee, I mean it practically the same and people love cream in their coffee, right??
9. Watch as it slowly disolves... then stops... why aren't you disolving more???
10. Furiously stir the spon.
11. Realise it's not working, your coffee is still full of lumps.
12. Have a GENIUS idea: Use the electric whisk!
13. Clean up the coffee splattered all over the kitchen, change your stained shirt and come back to drink your smooth (half a) cup of coffee.

Bloody hell! And yea, still pretty rank!