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Is it just fantasy or is it real? Abusive or not?

Current Mood: Cheerful
AuraleePg (Shari, *)
Female
Female - Kilwinning, Scotland, Home again!, United Kingdom
sexort
Sexual Orientation: Don't Like Labels
Relationship Status: Widow/Widower


Posted: 2022-09-02 6:23:01 am Category RolePlay Viewed 874 times Likes 6

A question or sometimes statement that is made about Gor, "its just bdsm" or "its just Men being bullies" or even "its just sex" and "its not real"

I am accountable for my own words and opinions in this blog, but they are just that, mine. Not everybody will agree which is their right.

Firstly Gor is fictional, it was a series of books about a "counter earth" written by John Norman. You cannot live the books in real life, that would be silly to assume but some of the philosophies within the books can be successfully lived by in real life. An example of this would be "honour". In our real lives regardless of our sexual orientation, kinks etc, we can live honourably.

Next there is the concept of Master/slave within the books. What is the difference between this and Dominant/submissive?

Some will argue they are nothing alike, Gorean slaves have no rights, they answer only to their Master/Mistress and are treated like animals. This can also be said for some submissives who sign contracts giving their Dominant/Domme full rights to control their lives. Submissives can be kept in cages, as can Gorean slaves. Submissives can be micro managed which is similar to a Gorean slave so the lines between the two are blurry around Ownership/rights etc.

When it comes to  "sex"  or "play" again there is no right or wrong, no good or bad, only what is mutually agreed upon. Within BDSM there are safe words if the submissive feels they cannot safely continue or they have had enough in regards to example pain. There are some who say Gorean slaves do not have this safe word online. Well no they don't however they do have something called the "X" which is a little red button at the top of the screen/chatbox that they can close and end whatever is going on. 

"well thats not a real gorean slave" I hear yelled at me. Well perhaps not in the eyes of some however, I have read the books beginning to end and nowhere have I even read anything that comes close to the abuse that some may experience  in an online setting. Actually in some regards, it can appear more abusive in this setting as people think that what they are doing has no consequence other than prove how "manly" they are.

If somebody chooses to play a Gorean slave or indeed a Free Person, within an "online" relationship, feelings can grow. Having been on both sides of the coin, both a Gorean bondsmaid/slave and a Free Person, slaves especially connect emotionally to their Owners which then posses questions around how "online play/sex" leaves them feeling. 

From a personal viewpoint, any interaction with an Owner elicits emotions, good or bad in a slave. Anything from a soft touch to a public whipping for disobediance, to the more intimate things that happen behind closed doors (private messages), can bring to the surface very real emotions. I will readily admit that I fell in love with my first Gorean Master. Nobody can tell me it wasn't real, I experienced it and I know it was love.

How is that even possible? well it happens. While the roleplay was public there were many hours, days, weeks spent alone talking not just about Gor but about our personal lives. He learnt about me and mine, and I about him and his. We talked, asked questions, listened, just as we would in a real life relationship. All that was missing was the physical touch. Perhaps missing is the wrong word as his words were that physical touch. His face when we talked was that touch. 

Having then found a real life Dominant I wanted to spend my life with I stepped away from Gor as a slave and became a Free Person. This was discussed with myself and my Dominant and he was happy for me to continue my roleplay in Gor but not as a slave, that was my place with him. My experiences with my Dom were very different for obvious reasons. The play at home or at BDSM clubs was real, the physical elements of the relationship were real and I was uncontrolably, without a doubt head over heels in love with him.

In both circumstances I was on love with the Man who I belonged to. The love was not altered by the lack of physical touch or by the fact I fell asleep every night in my Doms arms, it was love, regardless.

So that leads us back to online slavery and the fantasy v real question.  If a slave is abused in an online situation, it  can and often does affect them, it is real emotions that are brought to the surface. Words can be intrusive, degrading, violating, abusive. 

Being a Dominant or Free Person holds responsibility. You are responsible for the emotional and physical wellbeing of another person and it is something you should both relish and cherish. Somebody has found something in you that they believe in and more importantly, trust in. Do not abouse that trust or belief just because you have a problem with anger or authority.

If you are pissed off at the world in general, you should not be interacting with anybody nevermind a submissive or slave. Taking your anger out on them is abusive.

If you cannot control yourself and stop when somebody asks you to, that is abusive.

It might be roleplay to you but to others it is something more.

There is no answer to the question I posed "real or fantasy" as that is each persons own experience but there is a definate answer to the Abusive or not, that line is clear. 

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!

If you notice one of your "chat friend" has left, "account deleted" perhaps because he was reminded that his scenario of whipping a girl with a single tailed 10ft whip until her back, ass and legs were a bloody pulp, his words not mine, that the girl in all eventuality, would be in all likliehood in Intensive Care, not sniveling at his feet. 

Keep it real people.... 

Just saying.... 

Auralee

 

 

 


4 Comments
2022-09-02 1:42:50 pm
thank You Valr
2022-09-09 9:16:20 pm
I agree, Auralee, well said
2022-11-26 8:30:22 pm
Spot on, well said indeed!


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